"but daddy i love him"
Reblog for the last one
it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate
So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created
So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA
i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space
his eyes were twitter-blue as they stared out into the yahoo-purple and youtube-red clouds over a facebook-blue sea dotted with the broken deviantart-green tree branches. and then his eyes darkened to tumblr-blue speckled with wikipedia-grey as he turned to his fiery fox. “let’s begin,” he said, his voice like chrome. “let’s begin exploring this internet.” and they binged off into the setting sun at a google miles per hour.
If I ever get married, our vows better be based on the Team Rocket motto.
I vow to protect you from devastation.
To unite our privates and feel sensation.
To pronounce you as my one true love,
and see the glitter of your eyes in the stars above.
Team Rocket, married, committed for life!
Pronounce us now, as husband and wife!
This is the best thing I’ve seen on Tumblr today.